How to Keep It Together With So Much Going On
NOBODY ELSE HAS IT TOGETHER.
It may look like they do. Some are further along than others, but even that may be temporary. Everybody is fighting their own battles, doing their best, trying to keep it together.
Don’t compare. There is no winning here.
It’s very difficult to stay focused on keeping it together if you are constantly distracted by other peoples’ business.
It's very easy to say, "Well, since this one thing isn’t happening, everything sucks, and I give up!”
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter how many people are on your side, cheering you on. If you can’t get on your own side, what’s the point of any of it?
Get on your own side. Be your own champion.
Who you are today is a result of all the actions you took and decisions you made yesterday. Even when we feel like we haven’t done much, we have. You’ll actually find it quite shocking once you’ve realized all that you have done–and all that you have become–if you can just pause and really think about it. Trust me, it is good enough. And “good enough” is the new “perfect.”
Here's How To Help Yourself RIGHT NOW:
Write these things down:
- What are you doing today that you couldn’t have done five, three, or even one year ago?
- In what way have you stepped up in the last year that you might have found inconceivable before?
- What are some concrete ways in which your life has improved compared to this time last year?
- What negative behavior or thought have you stopped engaging in that you never thought you could quit?
You’ll be relieved to know that who you are isn’t really defined by what you say, or feel, or analyze in you head, or are inspired by, or aspire to, or post on social media.
Who you are and your future self are not determined by how you feel. Feelings are not facts. It’s not determined by what you say. Talk is cheap.
Your struggles–what you are willing to struggle for–determine the quality of your life. What you are willing to struggle for and willing to give up will determine 90% of the outcome.
Really, truthfully–what motivates you? What makes you tick? What are the underlying motivators?
Validation? Admiration? Power? Reputation? Money? Love? Service? Security? A warm place to land? A hard edge to conquer?
The key is to be honest with yourself. If you say you like to be of service, is it really to be of service, or to be liked and needed? The latter is perfectly fine, as long as you recognize it as your real motivation.
As the theoretical physicist Richard P. Feynman once said, “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.”